National Safe Schools Framework for Parents

Positive social values – such as honesty, compassion, kindness, cooperation, acceptance of difference, respect and friendliness – foster harmonious and caring relationships between people.

Parents teach values to their children every day. Your child learns values by watching what you do. They learn their life lessons from you.

Sometimes what you teach them will be conscious and explicit. At other times, they will learn by observing how you behave, the language you use, and the way you respond to a situation, or a person or group of people.

As they mature, your child will understand what you really value, and over time they will develop a value system of their own. The stronger and more positive your relationship with your child, the more often they will draw on the values you have helped them to develop.

These are some ways to develop positive social values in your child.

Encourage positive social values

Begin by actively encouraging your child to live by positive social values such as honesty, compassion, kindness, cooperation, acceptance of difference, respect and friendliness.

When your child acts in ways that reflect these values, their self-respect is enhanced. Give them positive feedback when they do this!

Understanding the importance of these values, and trying to live by them, provide your child with a ‘moral map’ that can help them to make good life decisions.

Be a role model

Act as a role model for your child, so that they can see how these values operate in practice. This includes the type of language you use when interacting with others, the kind of jokes you tell and the behaviours you display. Your child will take their cues from you about what is and is not acceptable.

Look for opportunities to be kind

Encourage your child to look for opportunities to be kind and generous and to be of service to others or the community. Show them you think this is important by being open about your own involvement. Praise them for their keenness to get involved too. Sometimes working together to help others in the community is a wonderful opportunity for you to strengthen your bond with your child.

Make your expectations explicit

Make it clear to your child how you expect them to behave – being honest, respectful, cooperative, kind, friendly and accepting of difference. Encourage and praise them when they behave according to these positive social values.

Tell them that you would be very upset and disappointed if they took part in bullying or mistreating another child in any way, however small. If they ever do behave in this way, talk it over calmly with them and express your disappointment at this behaviour. If you hear your child using disrespectful language (for example, about others in minority groups, those of a different sexual orientation or people from different backgrounds), remind them that such language is hurtful and unacceptable.

Encourage your child to stand up for others

Encourage your child to stand up for any other child at school who is being bullied or mistreated; they could offer support or seek the assistance of a staff member. Shower them with praise when they do this.

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