National Safe Schools Framework for Parents

Being interested

A good place to start is simply being interested and aware, paying attention to notices from the school and talking with your child about how their school day has gone.

Maintaining regular contact and sharing what you know

Talk with your child’s teacher – keep in contact by phone or email or by visiting the school.

Teachers appreciate knowing about any problems or situations their students are experiencing in or out of school, because it will help them to understand possible behaviour or learning problems these students may be having.

By sharing your knowledge of your child and their needs and concerns with their teacher, the teacher can also connect you with a specialist member of staff (such as a student wellbeing coordinator) who can provide appropriate support if needed.

Parent–teacher interviews

Attend parent–teacher interviews to find out how your child is progressing. These interviews are also a good place to discuss any concerns you may have about your child. It can be a good idea to jot down your questions beforehand so you can refer to them during the interview.

Making an appointment

If you have a specific concern, make an appointment with the staff member you wish to speak with about your child. This is better than trying to talk to them informally within the classroom or at a school social function.

Taking part when you can

If you’ve got the time, take part in some school-based activities such as in-class reading, helping out in the canteen and on sports days, or attending school council meetings. This will contribute to your sense of community and create practical and social connections between you and other parents and staff.

Understanding the role of the teacher and school

Many children have problems with their friendships at times throughout their schooling. These can be problems such as disagreements, changes in a friendship group, not being invited to an outside-school event, or feeling left out. Part of growing up is learning how to manage these normal friendship issues and in doing so learn valuable life skills such as resilience, bouncing back from disappointment and setbacks, conflict resolution, assertiveness and problem-solving.

It isn’t generally the role of the school to intervene in these friendship problems unless your child’s safety is at risk – such as if you think they are being bullied or mistreated in other significant ways. It is reasonable to ask a teacher to have a chat with your child about what is happening and to support them but not, in most cases, to expect teachers to fix a friendship problem.

Helping your child to manage their own friendships

As a parent, you can help your child learn to manage their normal friendship issues.

These are some suggestions.

Talk with your child about what good friends are like: they look out for their friends, care about each other, include friends in activities and treat each other with respect. This can help your child to work out which of their peers might be suitable friends.

• Encourage your child to have a wide range of friends from a variety of places, such as school, sports or social clubs, family friends and neighbours. Then they’ll have other people to turn to if something goes wrong with a friendship.
• Talking with your child can also give you the chance to start a conversation about how they’re going with their friends. When you keep the lines of communication open, your child is more likely to come and talk to you about any problems they are facing.
• You can be a role model for forming and maintaining positive relationships – with your own friends, partners and colleagues. Your child will learn from observing relationships where there are respect, empathy and positive ways of resolving conflict.

Encouraging a connection with school

Students who feel a genuine sense of belonging at school are more likely to do well, to stay in school and to make healthy choices. This is often described as school connectedness. This is found when your child believes that you, their teachers, the staff and other students in the school care about them and their learning.